As part of a goodie-bag at the Stoke Newington Literary Festival, I received a beautifully packaged bar of chocolate from a very posh manufacturer. This was enormously exciting.
Unfortunately it is so powerful in its authentic flavour that I could barely keep a square of it in my mouth. It is worse than Fisherman's Friends, which regular readers will remember form a large part of the recording studio diet at the moment, and which used to be part of a school competition to see who could keep one in their mouth the longest.
The chocolate is on the shelf in the fridge, under the eggs, in case it jumps out to bite me. An Offsprog will come back late from the pub one night foraging for food and will be too plastered to notice its ferocious strength.
That being said, I'm off out for a cheap bar and a bag of Doritos.