Friday, August 21, 2009

In Which Scaffolders Exceed Previous Scaffolders' Ability To Swear And Shout

The scaffolders are at it again, erecting their poles down the road and across the way.
They have one size- extra large, and one volume-extra loud, and a sad little radio tinnily sings away in the background, hopelessly trying to compete. The scaffolders are dressed in matching t-shirts and hyper suntans.
CLANG CLUNG CLICK CLICK... CLANGGGGGG!
'Fark!'
'EH?'
FARK!"
'EH?'
'Oroight THAT"S IT!!!'
'OI STEVE STEVE!!"
'OI DON'T GIVE A FARK'
'FARK!!'

There seems to be one scaffolder per pole, which seems a trifle profligate in these times of recession.
In the yawning silence between expletives, the poles are dragged reluctantly hither and thither.
They are wondering if somebody's a lesbian now.
And now they are having a massive argument!
'GET DAHN OFF THE SCAFFOLD AND GO 'OME!'
The volume and range of swearing sweeps down the street.
Pity the bin men have been. They could have tipped the lot of them into their smelly lorry and taken them away to the dump!

5 comments:

Sarah said...

That may be annoying from where you are but from here it is really funny! A scaffolding lorry once dropped its load on Narborough road where we lived in Leicester at the time. Ask Andy and he will tell you the story he has made out of this small but loud event! Hope your offer on small house is accepted. How about Wednesday for Fan Museum? I have dentist and doctors in the morning so it would be good to have something to look forward to later in the day!

chimesey said...

I have actually 'LOL'd at this bit - '
'Fark!'
'EH?'
FARK!"
'EH?''

I sometimes wonder whether things might be better, had I been a scaffolder. Early starts, up high, keep fit, fresh air, legitimized shouting, keeping up with the hits on Capital Gold...

paulG said...

I'm not entirely sure why, but that conjures up visions of a rather unpleasant variation on morris dancing.

Anne said...

I think the only thing to do is to tell them to fark off!!!!

Helen McCookerybook said...

Ha Ha! I will have to ask Andy about that story. He's a good raconteur. I'll txt you about Wednesday, Sarah.
And Chimesey, I thought I was going to have to call the police because the potential fight hotted up. Believe it or not, there was a lot more farking going on: it was quite extraordinary!
Yes Paul G, I understand. There is something about men and jingling poles...
And Anne, even my cat has now learned how to say it, never mind the middle class children of McCookerybook Mansions!