Friday, May 26, 2006

Socks and Hats

I've just realised I missed Offline last night! And I'm going to miss Songbird next week as I'll be in Birmingham doing a children's music workshop. It's a bit like missing Brownies one week and having to meet Brown Owl's enquiring gaze the next time.
Living is a confusing soup of writing... I went to bed early and as I fell asleep I started thinking of re-christening socks 'footnotes' and hats 'chapter headings'. At the point where I re-christened the act of breaking wind a 'paragraph' I laughed, and woke myself up.
Talking of sleep- I had a dream once about travelling up England in a helicopter- I didn't know why. But I got to Yorkshire and spied Richmond, which was built on a hill that stuck out of the landscape. I flew closer, and closer, and hovered over the market square. There I saw the guitarist from Joby and the Hooligans, Nick, dressed in a kilt and jaunty Scottish hat, holding a set of tartan bagpipes and sitting on a donkey right in the middle of the square. He had a funny little smile on his face and had obviously been waiting there for ages, possibly days, waiting to see if I'd find him.
I burst out laughing in my sleep and woke up. I have admired Nick ever since, for going to such trouble just to make me laugh in a dream.
I'm off to number the pages.

1 comment:

urban75 said...

It's a real shame you missed Offline - it was the best one yet!

Here's how our special guest, Richard Herring, described the night in his blog:

"Later I myself took part in a free piece of theatre. I was doing a gig at the offline club in Brixton. It's an evening of poetry, bands and comedy in the back room of a pub, where entry is free and where acts get paid with two beers.

It's a bit anarchic and ramshackle, but a really great night out. I saw a poet with a furious scattergun delivery and a musical act in which a woman played a hurdy-gurdy (which isn't something you see every day).

You should support this place if you are local enough to get down there. There's a great atmosphere and it's free and better than watching two eccentric academics discussing their careers. I thought I would struggle a bit in my set, as I was going on late and was the only comedian and the audience was drunk and I was on my fourth pint of Guinness, but although there were some dodgy moments and I couldn't really see anyone, it was raw and exciting.

One man bought me a whisky to down in one and another after hearing my story about the Hand Job centre, slithered his way up on to the high stage (I compared him to Tooms from the first series of the X Files which had a surprising level of recognition from the crowd) to tell a story of his "friend" who had fallen asleep on a bus and then woken up to find himself being masturbated by a stranger. We then had a dialogue, passing the microphone from one to the other as we discussed whether his interruption was relevant or appropriate.

It was a really lovely bit of fun, very good natured and experimental and after a few exchanges he slinked off again.

A terrific night of fun. Do go to the next one."

...and I'll certainly be using that glowing testimony to try and drag other top folks down to Offline :)