Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Next Gig


This is my next gig, at Monkey Chews in Camden on Wednesday the 7th January. I'm doing a sort of mini-tour of London in January and this is the first one. These promoters choose interesting music so it should be a good one.
I was given a box of Rose and Violet Creams, which I have just polished off. Being a punk rocker, of course, I call them Rows and Violent Crimes.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Photo of Me and Paul by Brother Tobias

Birthday Party 2008



The day dawned with a call from McMum and McDad; I was touched to hear McDad say 'Many Happy Returns', as he has grown frail and sometimes it is hard for him to speak at the moment, so that really meant a lot to me.
The cat's birthday present, on the other hand, was a pool of iridescent vomit on the hall floor that necessitated the use of half a roll of festive kitchen roll (2 multipacks for the price of one). How horrible. Remind me not to tell her anything about it next year.
I had home-made gingerbread people and a zebra cake courtesy of my offspring, and a massive pan of veggie chili. The guests were family members, honorary family members or regulars, and included two cousins who didn't realise they were cousins, and my foster-cousin Ted, providing an interesting question about relatives, first-cousin-ness, removedness and all that.
We all squashed into the back room on cushions and scrambled chairs for the music bit.
Kirsty played and sang beautifully, Rowen blew us away with the strength and power of her songs and voice, Alex played some exerpts from Metallica, Charlotte played some lovely baroque flute music, and me and Paul played some songs too, including Autumn Love, for Nick and Sue who were actually there to hear it.. The highlight was Big Bruv who played for the first time ever, singing a song about Nutty the Squirrel, but by far the funniest, a song about Daleks living in bungalows with a chorus that went 'Exterminate! Exterminate!'. The words were so funny I cried with laughter. He has a studio session pending which we clubbed together and got him for his birthday but he works seven days a week and hasn't had time. We are going to MAKE him go in there and record them!
I couldn't get the idea of Daleks with crinoline-lady toilet roll holders in their bungalows out of my head all evening.
I did try to take pictures of the others but I was sitting on the floor and they all came out blurred.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Someone Else's Funny Story

Richard, who is co-writing a biography of Martin Stephenson, wrote to me and told me he'd just bought Vaultage 79 and told me how much he liked the song Bloody by the Golinski Brothers.
I met Darris, their singer, at a party a couple of years ago in Goldtop Studios in Chalk Farm, which is run by Paul Laventhol from King Kurt, and Neil Brockbank, who used to do their live sound.
Darris has been an SDP candidate amongst other things. He said that he has a teenage son whom he is always scolding for muttering and not a-r-t-i-c-u-a-t-i-n-g properly. The teenage son wanted to go to the cinema and phoned the automated Odeon-line to try to find out what was being shown at his local one. He was prompted by the auto-lady to say where it was.
'Uffblingh' he muttered.
'I'm sorry, I didn't understand that. Please try again', intoned the auto-lady.
'Uffblingh'
'I'm sorry, I didn't understand that. Please try again',
And so on.
And so on.

Djay Buddha wrote to tell me he has a good live version of Love on the Wind recorded in Glasgow- can't wait to hear it!

Finally, a New Year wish which I give to you as a present for any poet you may know:

May all your poems rhyne
In two thousand and nine.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Chimney

I don't know about you but I find the visit of Father Christmas has more than one benefit, for as well as delivering a sackload of presents, he cleans our sooty chimney magnificently with his fat tummy on the way down, catching the soot conveniently in his ample beard, thereby necessitating the minimum clean-up afterwards.

Day

The sun's out! I'm going for a walk!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Ennui, Noel

They're watching Wallace and Gromit downstairs so I have escaped- I can't stand Wallace's voice, which sounds like Alan Titchmarsh being strangled.
Once I recorded a whole gardening programme with Alan Titchmarsh speaking; I was going to orchestrate it and make it into a musical. I've still got it somewhere. Something along the lines of Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady playing the little xylophone to get Eliza Doolittle to speak in posh cadences. That's one film I do love, partly because Audrey Hepburn is the most beautiful woman ever born, and partly because of the fabulous costumes which I want to wear in my dreams.
I lost a box of crackers and bought a fancy box at the last minute in case I never found them (eaten by Blogger my dog?). We had the posh ones but they had dull jokes and boringly useful cracker gifts and I found the common box and we pulled those as well. They had really rubbish toys which were what you are supposed to have, and much better jokes. It meant we had to wear two hats each. Every year I am the person who forgets to take their paper hat off for the longest; I catch sight of myself in the mirror at teatime and feel like an idiot.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Airship Song

Speaking of Rochefort en Accords, here's a Youtube of me, Martin, B J Cole and the Rochefort fiddle player doing the Airship Song by Charlie Poole live at the festival:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=1acED9DFrx4

Where's the end of the sellotape?

Good Review Woohoo!

I woke this morning as a copy of Mojo whacked on to the floor through the letterbox. There was a free Tamla Motown CD which boded well (there's been rather a lot of nerdy Indie music recently) but I hardly dared to open it and look. The page fell open at the CD reviews section and there it was! Yee ha! A review by Lucy O'Brien and four stars!!! It's worth it!!! When I first started up again I didn't know why on earth I was doing it, there was just an urge to get up and play and have music adventures, and really that is what it's all about. But this was such a bonus, and it has been fantastic to have positive reviews from such funky mags- Nude Magazine, Wearsthetrousers, Esquire in Thailand and Collected Sounds. This one caps it all perfectly and I am smiling.
It has been a good year for McCookerymusic, with some fave gigs being Rochefort en Accords and Whitstable, and of course the Christmas ones. I've loved recording in London with Tom, in Scotland with Pete and at Embleton with DJay Buddha and the lads. There have been some crappy lows this year but some wonderful highs as well.
I've also done some brill things- starting with the weekend at Chollerford, then the Writing about Schools project in Northumberland, then mentoring Tom's songwriting (I LOVED that!), then the Songwriting Weekend with Martin and Scott in the Lake District, and the Song Club.
To cap it all, I pulled the curtain this morning and there was the new bin on the path, looking full of itself. I'd thought I'd have to wait till next week with black bags al over the place and rats nesting in the Christmas wrapping paper. To crown it all further I got an email from someone at Barnet Council (they'd been alerted by Google to my predicament), offering to try to locate the missing one. Alas, I'd already forked out for the new one and the old manky one is probably servicing some horrid burglar somewhere by now, looting someone's Christmas presents.
I do hope not.
Now all I have to do is fix the clothes dryer, which is leaking all over the floor. Might just pack it away to deal with after Christmas.

Merry Christmas to anyone who reads this blog! I do know it's a complete jumble sale of rubbish and jewels depending on whatever it is that interests whoever. I look at the blogs of the people who leave comments and they are all much more focused and interesting than mine which is mostly therapy-rambling. But it is nice to know that people read it and I'm not just talking to myself!
That was something that made me laugh out loud once. I was all by myself in a bedsit in a huge dark house in Willeseden listening to the John Peel show. Everyone was out and it was totally silent outside.
'I don't think anyone's listening', said John Peel. 'I know I'm just sitting here talking to myself'.
I really felt that I was the only person in the world at that point and that I was his only listener, and it was the funniest thing!
The man was a genius.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Misread in Doctor's Waiting Room

I picked up one of those glossy cheapo showbizzy mags full of trashy photographs of minor celebs.
'Pick of the Crap', said the headline, or at least I thought it did until I realised my brain had substituted an 'a' for an 'o'.

Bin

While I was away playing music, someone stole my wheelie bin. It's gonna cost me £50 to get a new one from the council.
Grrr!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Hat

I went into Accessorize while I was waiting at Euston for the train to Glasgow, as I was quite bored.
I was looking for hats to try on but I did not like their hats much until I spied a superb little black hat on a peg very high up, with an interesting ruched ribbon detail and a cool retro style; funky for Accessorize. I decided to try it on and I asked the shop assistant to get it down for me, because I had my guitar on my back and couldn't leap up to grab it.
She got a bamboo pole and gently hooked the hat down. There was something weird about it; I realised it had already been worn and had no price tag or manufacturer's label, and I turned it round to find that it had an official-looking enamel badge on it.
It was a St John's Ambulance lady's hat.
How did it get there?

2 Good Gigs

Accies was the first one; it had been a dreadful journey, courtesy of Richard Branson's Virgin Trains, a man whose face looms in the leaden sky like a ghastly god when the train's late as always and the toilets don't work as always. But Fin and Martin were at Glasgow station to pick me up, and we got to the gig in time for a quick soundcheck. The Moonshiners kicked off the evening, with a very talented young fiddle player, Kirsty, who augmented their gentle bluegrass music. Accies has a great audience who listen and smile, and although I was tired I really enjoyed playing because the sound was crystal clear.
The Daintees were great- they played just with Fin on percussion and did everything from a whisper to a loud rock-out and were as tight as anything and you could hear just how good their arrangements are.
Even the Drunken Nuisance clambering about looking for his coat backstage throughout the set didn't put them off their stride. I had to guard Martin's coat because the soundman tried to give it to the Drunken Nuisance no less than four times!
When Anth struck up the beginning of 24 Hours I was out there again, singing along just like in the old days but with a different band! The Djay Buddha was there behind his mobile desk, recording the music and swaying along; the best song was Boat to Bolivia but absolutely everything sounded fresh and clear, as thought the songs had just been written. The crowd loved it and became a sea of smiles amongst the tealights on the tables.
When everyone had gone home, the sound guy found the Drunken Nuisance's coat right over at other end of the venue, nowhere near where he had been rummaging and tripping over.

The Cluny was the exact opposite in terms of audience- it was a real 'out-for-a-Christmas-gig-gonna-have-a-good-time' gig. It was sold out and packed to the gunwhales (no, it's not a boat, that's just a clever dick term for very full indeed). The audience had a lot of things to say to each other in very loud voices. The Parish Music Box played first- their singer has a very distinctive, very powerful vocal style. The crowd still had a lot of things to say to each other in very loud voices. but they were like that last year, and the year before, so I decided I was going to enjoy singing anyway and so I did. I planted myself on the stage as solidly as an elephant and did my utter best. A lot of people were listening, I could see, and that made the battle against the very loud voices ( I called them the Clunatics) not seem so bad. Martin and Fin came and joined in on Heaven Avenue and Loverman to rock it up a bit. I liked it just as much as the Glasgow gigs- big mobby audiences don't bother me, for verily, I am a punk rocker who used to take bottle tops off with her teeth.
The talkers didn't give up when the Daintees came on, but Martin knows how to deal with them and wove them into his between-song wit. The set was very different from the one in Glasgow- the band was rockier with a drummer as well as Fin's percussion and the show was really energetic and full-on. I liked the version of Indian Summer they did- it had a different rhythm to the version on their CD, straighter, but it gave the song a poignance, partly because Martin altered the words and made them more autobiographical.
When he came on solo to play Rain, the audience became lambs and sang along, as well-behaved as a church congregation, sounding like a big mass Geordie tamed roar. The band finally left the stage to shouts of 'Encore' that went on for about ten minutes afterwards.
There were lots of familiar faces there- Robson and his family, and Joe Guillan and Cav came along and we're planning another Embleton session. I was chuffed to bits afterwards cos Shippy, the promoter, came up and said it was the best he'd ever heard me play. Whatever, They were two gigs that rounded off the year perfectly: good band, good crowds, good company.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Gardens, Birds, Off!

My only contact with Bill Oddie has been being shoved out of the way by him in St Martin's Lane as I walked past him one day, but now I do appear to be developing an interest in birds. There was a Redwing after the apples two days ago and this morning a Jay is shyly sitting in a tree, watching the Magpies gobbling up last year's Christmas nuts that were still in the cupboard.
I wonder what the cluster of clementines in a redundant hanging basket will bring?
I'm off to Glasgow this morning!