Monday, February 08, 2016

Suit U Up

With apologies to the Fast Show: but things have moved on quickly since then.

My name's Tommy Trotter and I work in Suit U Up, a shop in Jermyn Street where politicians  have been coming for many years to have their suits made-to-measure.
You'll recognise our suits; either dark grey or dark-dark-black-grey, they are a little on the tight side, and they all feature a loose buttonhole mid-belly. The chaps who wear our suits get out of their ministerial car, stand up, and touch their belly-button (see what I did just there?) with their right hand, very lightly, to make sure that it hasn't come undone.
We (Philip, the business owner, and myself) felt that Tony B was a little on the ostentatious side with this gesture,but Dave C has copied him religiously (we laugh when we think how much Dave C fancies Tony B, but that's for another time) and now it's kind of got into the performance side of things alongside running their hands through their Brylcreem and surreptitiously wiping the excess on their hankies.
A woman in a red coat came in a few weeks ago with a bearded chap in a shell suit. I think her name was Diana Priest, or something, and she was trying to persuade the guy to buy a suit from us. He ran a finger over a bolt of our best mohair suiting and winced as though he'd been stung by a wasp, then shuddered. They went over to Subway pretty quickly and I could see them arguing.
Suits aren't for everyone, are they?


Magnus said...

Er, is this a homage to Fast Show? Or perhaps the Bonzos' vox pop classic 'Shirt', in which late 60s punters on London streets are invited to opine on shirts?

Helen McCookerybook said...

More of a comment on the identikit suits the Tories and any power-hungry politician wears, although you'll see at the beginning of the posting that I have mentioned The Fast Show.

Anonymous said...

'Jermyn Street' is this anywhere near Wardour St. Home of the Marquee

Magnus said...

Not a million miles away, though habitues of Marquee and 100 Club more likely to get their threads on Carnaby Street, Jermyn Street is for the squares, man