This is a strange time: my youngest child is about to leave home and I have a vista of life ahead to explore and populate.
I have been a single Mum for a few years and this means that battles and triumphs have had an intensity that they might not have had, had I remained married.
I have no idea how my Offspring feel about me, but I love them both very much.
I now have to work out balance between showing that I care and that I love them, and leaving them alone to get on with things because they are now adults. What a tightrope! I have seen both extremes, of yoo-much-leaving-alone and interfering-beyond-requirements, and will have to negotiate a route that doesn't veer too much in one direction or another.
Imagine being able to watch what I want to on TV! Only my own mess to clear up! The washing machine will remain silent for the better part of the day! Refused food will not clog the fridge and shoes will not clog the floor! The house will no longer quake as the front door slams!
But the delicacy of conversation between two people behaving as adults for the first time will be confined to phone calls, and unexpected dinners will not be waiting on the cooker after I've had a hard day. There will be no flocks of parrots (sorry, groups of friends!) yelling with laughter in the kitchen and treating me as though I am their Mum too. Surprising drawings will no longer appear on the table and the mutual rant at the early evening news will be silenced.
I have raided the library for books to see me through the silent summer, and I am looking at Martin's schedule to see when I can visit him. Maybe I'll become a virtuoso guitarist (maybe not!). Maybe I will write another book (definitely not!). Probably I will do a lot more drawing, and go out to art galleries more.