Ever had a day when everything has gone wrong? There's no money in the bank? Someone shoves their supermarket trolley at you and then says 'sorry' superficially? The hand-dryer cut off when you're drying your hands in the public loo? The phone rings for half an hour when you're trying to contact Complaintsline (I feel your pain!)
The train stops several stations short of your destination and there isn't another one for 20 minutes (Northern Line time, i.e. at least half an hour).
Here's what to do! Pretend you live in an emerging democracy... 'Pretty good, for Poland!'...'Brilliant, for Bulgaria!'...'Rampant, for Romania!!!' Suddenly, boring Barnet becomes a struggling country that has overcome the odds to provide the citizen with an Argos!!! a Big Issue seller!!! (hello Rose), parking spaces!! (for cars you know). Oh!!!!!!