THE!
Monochrome Set
Monochrome Set
Monochrome SET!
I heard through a thousand grapevines that The Monochrome Set were playing at the Cherry Red Records 30th Birthday Bash, and determined me to get a ticket. Lester Square had given all his away, having thought nobody would be interested, but a couple of days later, he emailed to say he had a ticket for me. I dressed as Helen McCookerybook from 1979 (checked shirt, jeans, hair in pony tail) to get into the spirit, and went to the now-changed Dingwalls. I found Lester in the dressing room; he'd gone out for a curry with the others and found, on their return, that they couldn't get back in again. Bid got in, promising to get the rest of the band in, but he didn't come back. Lester was shocked to see that me, Mike and Em had managed to get access, when he'd found it so difficult. He'd found a cowboy shirt, he said, whose poppers stretched across his chest, and he was anticipating bursting out of it at some exciting point in the concert, a bit like the Incredible Hulk.
Andy Warren lurked in the crowd. "I'm really looking forward to this!', I gushed.
'I'm glad somebody is', he responded drily.
First on was Attila the Stockbroker, who told us he did indeed used to be a stockbroker's assistant; then the cheerless Jim-Bob. Then Iain MacNay came up and did a little speech about Cherry Red, during which Bid could be seen behind him at the back of the stage, sticking two fingers up in a rather rude gesture from between the curtains. You could also see Lester Square wandering first one way, and then the other. Later, he said he was having trouble getting organised; lead, guitar, set list, towel- he'd remember one only to forget the other and have to go back and get it.
At last! there they were, thundering through The Monochrome Set; there was Andy Warren, dressed all in black and with legs crossed tidily at the ankles, glowering, looking younger than he did twenty years ago. The drummer, borrowed from Scarlet's Well, Bid's day-band, made a good job of it as she tribal-drummed through the set. Bid was drunk and very wry. Lester needed to tune his guitar. 'The little needle needs to be in the middle', advised Bid unnecessarily.
The Creature of the Black Lagoon! My feet just started dancing and I was amazed to discover that I knew the words. How come? I can hardly even remember the words of my own songs!
'Attila, you've been spitting into the microphone', scolded Bid, before a female singer joined them on stage. They began the next song. 'Stop!', commanded Bid.'I've just remembered something! Where's Alex?'
'She's here on stage with us', said the others. Oh yes. So they carried on.
They were completely brilliant- that deep, loud, powerful bass sound, the dueling, clanging guitars, the wandering vocal melodies with their eastern feel, but still catchy choruses, the idiosyncratic backing vocals, delivered tersely by Andy and Lester; Bid's rich, strong voice, out-Lou-Reiding even the Catholic Poet himself, to say nothing of their stage presence. They are total stars; no clever stylist could have invented their personae: Lester Square, tall, angular and making shapes, Andy making an art out of Standing Still, and Bid, head bent over the microphone, explaining odd glib-sounding lyrical thoughts into its mesh as though torturing it with concepts it couldn't get its little silver head around.
At the end, he announced 'See you in twenty years' and they all vanished, very quickly.
Attila got up. 'Lets get them back!'
'MORE! MORE! MORE!', we yelled.
They came back.
"How did you know we'd rehearsed an encore?', enquired Bid.
'It's on the set list', Attila replied, and we were treated to one more song.
Later, Lester confessed that he had forgotten how to play their songs, and so he looked on Youtube and found nerdy guitarists' instruction videos showing people how to play his guitar parts, and that's how he re-learned them.
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