Shouter

I went for a quiet walk.

On my way home, I heard a hullabaloo.

A man, his wife, and a dog.

'IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS TIER THREE PUBS CLOSED RESTAURANTS CLOSED HOSPITALITY CLOSED IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!!'

I was quite a long way away but he had one of those carrying sorts of voices.

I could hear the faint voice of his wife, either agreeing or disagreeing.

A hard rubber ball hit the ground with a ferocious impact behind me. He had one of those 'throwing a ball for a dog' plastic things, and it's long-distance function was working just fine.

Across the shallow valley, his voice reverberated.

'IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS TIER THREE PUBS CLOSED RESTAURANTS CLOSED HOSPITALITY CLOSED IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!!'

I could still hear him when he was far in the distance.

'IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!!  IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!!!'.

I tried to take a photo of him, but he was so far away you couldn't even see him in the picture.

What an amazingly useful man. Whenever I need anyone to say anything's a load of bollocks at a massive volume, I'll make sure to find him and put him to good purpose.