Herb Alpert

McDad had two elpees that I was interested in: Melanie, and Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass (that's what I thought they were called).
I loved the bustling brass of Herb's arrangements and the clarity of the trumpet: deeply uncool I know. But I still adore the sound of it: it just sound so shiny and happy.
What a terrible pity that the only sound I can get out of my own trumpet is an awful, sad, farting sound.
I can't even toot it and imagine that it sounds good, because the effort required to blow it makes me see stars and also dribble.
The final disillusionment, though, was years before when my manager Claudine tried to get Alpert's label A&M to sign me.
'We've got a woman artist already', they told her.
I was hardly going to tread on Joan Armatrading's toes, was I?
Toot, toot.