Saturday, October 03, 2009

Loo

The plumber is here, changing the innards of the dribbly loo.
People say I'm mad spending money at this late stage when we might have moved out in a few weeks, but they don't live with the dribbly loo and its potential waterfall capabilities!
There has been drama; it's an East-European designer mini-loo with no compatible parts.
Maybe this won't fit, maybe it will, it doesn't, it does, where is the stopcock, I can't find it, yes I can...
I'm beyond drama, because I'm wondering if the mortgage company who promised me a mortgage are going to pull out. Suddenly they have asked for more documents, and more, and more.
They are a corporation, and don't care about the human being at the end of their decision line.

I can't bear to talk to anyone; there are great good things in my life, but a big bundle of badness threatening it all like a heavy thundercloud, potentially disrupting everything, and I never know if or when that's going to happen.
I knew it would be like this, with slow progress at a snail's pace. I have had to learn to contain my anger and frustration and think about the future and not the past.

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