Monday, November 10, 2008

The Chefs Compilation

I have become totally dispirited with this. The tracks are all selected, and I was feeling really positive. then it came to contracts and lawyers, and then who was allowed to make money out of it. One of the reasons I pulled back from it a while ago was that so many people wanted to get their oar in- often in a very well-meaning way, but these songs are precious, not because of money, or even what they mean to anybody else, but because if what they mean to me (and to the others, I assume).
being in bands saved me from the brink of being totally self-destructive and suicidal. I have never seemed like that sort of person because I smile and make jokes, but in some ways that is worse because it is so hard to get those feelings out of your system if everybody thinks you're happy. writing songs was my way of taking part in a world that looked as though it only made sense for other people and not for me. It allowed me to feel different because I was in a band, instead of feeling different because I could not see where in the world I fitted in, and it allowed me to say things in songs at arms length instead of thoughts curling out of my mouth like wisps of cigarette smoke and poisoning me.
We took a huge amount of pride in making our music exactly right- our harmonies, the structure, all of those things that people have lessons in these days. All we had was our instincts and belief in our songs*. We used to argue all the time, but the music was more important than that. It's hard to believe now, but we were completely dedicated to it all, even moving to London en masse to find different audiences, and rehearsing all day, more days in the week than there actually are. I think we ground ourselves down in the end, drinking too much and losing faith in one another. We had crap business sense, signing a publishing deal with the Piranha's manager and Pete Waterman for a pound, because that's what we thought people did. We were misadvised, but not intentionally; we were all totally green and innocent.
I am hugely grateful to John Peel for playing our music and believing in us. I will never forget the experience of turning Radio 1 on at ten o'clock and hearing my hero playing a record that I had written and played on. That was really something!

*Actually, I had two rusty parrot cages too.

6 comments:

  1. I don't suppose you can just be cheeky (I don't mean be, I mean seem) and say to each in turn; 'This isn't going to happen at all unless you make it possible. Here's a piece of paper; waive any rights you think you have. Please?"?

    What happened to the rusty parrots?

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  2. Anonymous11:23 pm

    Gaffer tape in many colours

    http://www.demon-tweeks.com/products/ProductDetail.asp?cls=MSPORT&pcode=MSD14149

    Let me know if you want some. And please do the Chefs compilation as I lent out my 'Records and Tea' ep 25 years ago and still miss it

    alanw
    wilfsurrass@aol.com

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  3. I agree with Brother Tobias.

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  4. Thank you for the encouraging comments and also to Daniel Coston for his encouraging email! I vow not to be dispirited! I am going to fire off a decisive email today and then explore the avenues of possibilities.....
    About the parrots- funnily enough, a parrot called Rusty lived in a hotel in Gatehouse-of-Fleet. It was very naughty and climbed along the top of a chair very slowly, where an elderly lady was sleeping, and suddenly plunged its claw into her hair. What a dastardly plotter! It also flirted with McMum, climbing gently up her arm before nipping her on the cheek. It hated the hotel managers patent leather shoes (don't blame it!) and used to attack them, squawking, whenever he clipped past.

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  5. Anonymous2:15 pm

    I hope you don't give up on this Helen. These are wonderful songs, and they haven't dated at all.

    Love your new CD too.

    Pete Chrispx

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  6. Anonymous9:06 pm

    I'd certainly buy several copies. Great songs; every one a gem.
    pg

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