Jolly Jack Tar

Sometime, somewhere today my little gold skull and crossbones earring migrated from my ear. I've worn it constantly since I bought it to celebrate finishing my PHD; sad.

Anyway, the lady next door came round to say she's taken in a parcel for me. It was a JV1080, absolutely the best sound module a nerd could ever want. Some time ago I sold every bit of my music equipment on eBay, but because during my sleeping years I wrote rather a lot of music on the computer using Logic and a JV1080 at work, I have always hankered after one. Even though I can't use it yet because the computer I used before has died and sits looking beautiful and useless in the corner, and I sold the midi keyboard that would control it (how like an O. Henry story this is!), I can sit and imagine all those sounds and atmospheres as I gaze at the controls and pat it's black metal casing. Fetishist? Moi?

Emerald is finishing the cover design for 'Poetry and Rhyme' this weekend. I love what she's done so far. It's scary bringing out a CD because people will have Opinions about it and people will Review It. All those songs, months of love and music, will be out there to fend for themselves.
I am a sitting duck in some ways, because I am not Hard (especially now I've lost my earring!) and therefore no young guy reviewer is going to want to align themselves with me, as I am not going to represent their funky anger for them (there were some rather mysogynist comments made about 'Suburban Pastoral' by some reviewers). I'm slightly too inside to be an Outsider; I am a feminist who falls out of and in to love with men, and whose anger seethes rather than explodes. Songs that end up being released are songs that I like to sing and play- some are too bloody painful, either physically or emotionally. But I do have a very strong drive to communicate and a constant supply of ideas to test; I'll have to weather whatever comes.
I did, after all, used to be a fiendish punk rocker and as such I have earned the right to say what I want to say and sing what I want to sing in exactly the way I want to.
Grrr!