Helen McCookerybook

Last Saturday I went to Netty's birthday party. They live in a row of cottages in Kent with gravestones growing in the garden. They had ...

'Actually, my name's not Norman, it's Gordon' 'You mean I've been calling you Norman for three days, and you're ...

I drove up there yesterday, singing as loudly as possible. The trees in Norfolk are all shaped like dinosaurs; marvellous. Later, while havi...

Just bought series two of The Mighty Boosh; I believe in them so much I was astonished that a gorilla was clever enough to play drums.

I have been advised by CC, who is very sensible, to make my CD shorter. Somehow I have to weed out a track, to get the running time down to ...

I got my hair cut yesterday. One of the guys used to do the MCartneys' hair and knows all sorts of gossip about that. The other said tha...

You know... a glarse of wine, a pair of sloppy trousers, cushions, and a police programme. Nee-naa, nee-naa! Monday night. When else?

Well, that song's going to be a Project. Gina came to play bass on it on Thursday and I have been listening and listening. Mixing it wil...

Joby, I hope you got home safely yesterday. Not a good idea to jump into the sea fully clothed after consuming so much cider on a stormy day...

Life doesn't make sense. You can begin a period of absolute happiness at any time, or you can begin a period of absolute sadness.

I was a horrible baby. On my 21st birthday, McDad showed the only piece of film he ever made of me as a baby. There I was, with the baby wal...

no capitals today... 1. rio ferdinand used to come to a music workshop i ran in peckham, when he was about 12 or 13 2. when i was little our...

1. Went to see the Grayson Perry exhibition today, based on Lincolnshire griblings and groblings. He is brilliant and his work is like medi...

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All or nothing