Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Shouter

I went for a quiet walk.

On my way home, I heard a hullabaloo.

A man, his wife, and a dog.

'IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS TIER THREE PUBS CLOSED RESTAURANTS CLOSED HOSPITALITY CLOSED IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!!'

I was quite a long way away but he had one of those carrying sorts of voices.

I could hear the faint voice of his wife, either agreeing or disagreeing.

A hard rubber ball hit the ground with a ferocious impact behind me. He had one of those 'throwing a ball for a dog' plastic things, and it's long-distance function was working just fine.

Across the shallow valley, his voice reverberated.

'IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS TIER THREE PUBS CLOSED RESTAURANTS CLOSED HOSPITALITY CLOSED IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!!'

I could still hear him when he was far in the distance.

'IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!!  IT'S A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!!!'.

I tried to take a photo of him, but he was so far away you couldn't even see him in the picture.

What an amazingly useful man. Whenever I need anyone to say anything's a load of bollocks at a massive volume, I'll make sure to find him and put him to good purpose.

1 comment:

Wilky of St Albans said...

maybe you should have awaited the arrival of the dog (I'm assuming there was one, and the guy wasn't going firing missiles at you) and sent it back with an EU flag attached to it's collar. Sounds the kind of chap that would have become even louder!