Somehow at this point in life I seem to have become like a tree with lots of branches. On every branch a bird sits, just like in winter when the leaves have fallen and the trees look as though they are bearing bird-fruit. Sometimes the birds feel heavy, but simultaneously I like them, because each one is an idea that has finally come to fruition.
I think it's happened because I broke my elbow. It was so horrible sitting at home for two months, not able to do anything except watch the bruises change colour.
Going to work was a humungous effort, and simple things like washing my hair or putting on a pair of socks took an hour. I wore the same jumper for ten days because it was the only thing that I could put on with one hand and that would go over the bandages.
If I took the painkillers that I was prescribed, I was away with the fairies, and if I didn't I was awake all night in agony.
For three or four days I had to prop my arm up in the air because it my hand swelled up like a shiny purple boxing glove.
The silliest thing was getting a knife stuck in an onion.
You need two hands to get a knife out of an onion, I've discovered.
I tried wedging it in the cooker and yanking it but it was completely stuck.
Eventually, by flicking the knife sharply (sorry) in mid-air, the onion loosened enough for me to drag it along the side of the chopping board and dislodge it.
So all that frustration and fury came out in deciding to f*cking do stuff because not being physically or mentally able to do anything is absolute sh*t!