If you are of a timid disposition, please look away now.
I was almost certain that I'd posted about this before but apparently not.
One of my friends bought me a plastic boy called The Farting Wee-boy at Deptford Market aeons ago. Even the packet was cool- there was a little speech bubble next to its nether regions that said 'Wee wee, boo boo'. When you pulled its little breeks down it squeaked, and if you'd filled up the water chamber, a stream of water simultaneously squirted out of a little hole in the front of its body.
It was dressed as a Just William- era schoolboy with a maroon plastic blazer, grey shorts and a maroon and grey peaked school cap. It had an innocent expression on its face- in fact, it was almost completely inexpressive. She told me at the time that the stall holder looked really embarrassed because he had nothing else on his stall except piles of boxes of Farting Wee-boys.
Eventually the boo-boo bit stopped working and I passed the little feller on, but I kept the packet because it was brilliant. Now she has been in touch because she has bought herself a Wee Wee Water Squirter and she is puzzled because there's no farting in the current model. Looking at the box, the boy now has a sinister and self-satisfied smile as a lurid stream emanates from his body. The actual toy itself no longer wears a school uniform, but instead has a casual yellow sweater and a yachting cap. The activation mechanism is a button on the base, rather than a pair of hard plastic shorts.
Oh, how times have changed.