Monday, July 13, 2015

Fenomenal Finchley

Finchley in north London has always nurtured a feast of double parking, and I used to tell the Offsprogs that people in Finchley get into their cars just to cross the road. They do.
A new feature has been added to the extraordinary road behaviour of the suburb: DIY roundabouts.
In an exquisite choreography (or perhaps that should be car-eography), large swanky 4x4s execute U-turns in tandem with each other, gently nudging their way into the existing chaos as their drivers gaze into a middle distance of gymnasium-induced endorphin torpor, blissfully unaware that they are sharing the road with anyone else.
Meanwhile, the existing double parkers and road crossers are giving way for no-one.
The double parkers, one can see, are just one nano-thought away from triple parking. What a good idea! That'll serve the Council right for making a phone-in pay parking system that's so complicated that only those with exceptionally high IQs can pop into the bakers for a croissant.
The rest of us?
Well, that's why double parking was invented!
Meanwhile the road-crossers, with determined jaws, attempt to drive over the thrusting beasts that,  as they try to decide which direction they should be driving in, circle the congested highway.
The road-crossers' cars are not quite so swanky, and the U-turners (if they notice in time) do tend to give way on their self-important, self-directed roundabout to let them through to the other side of the road. They don't want dents in that fabulous paintwork, no sir.
All this dynamic activity is thrilling to behold, and I can't recommend it highly enough.
Unfortunately I was trying to take a bin bag full of half-full paint cans down to the recycling centre; I did manage to get there eventually, and I suppose that yes, I did enjoy the spectacle of the Finchley cars. In fact if you've got a spare hour in which to drive less and a quarter of a mile, why not pop up there?
You might pick up some tips on how to be a really, really awful road user.


Owen said...

I have a friend in Muswell Hill, and you see this on the steep streets round there too!

By the way, I presume you've seen your blackbird letter in today's Guardian?

Helen McCookerybook said...

Yes I did! They phoned me the day before to tell me they were going to publish it. I actually went away on Tuesday but I saw it online; I wish I'd made them call me McCookerybook :)

Monty a former cycling pro said...

Shorter Rochford Cycles Woodhouse Rd. N12 Is also situated in North Finchley