We went to the Falls of Shin where there is a marvellous cafe and also a viewing platform where you can watch salmon leaping as they travel upstream.
As we arrived, huge coaches were decanting their cargoes of extremely elderly people, shepherded by tour guides in friendly kilts and green tweed jackets.
Slowly, slowly, the untidy crocodiles of ancient and venerable tourists traversed the car park and headed for the path to the salmon leap.
We decided to give it a miss and headed for the marvellous cafe.
Imagine our shock when we realised that it had completely vanished and all that was left was a very large cafe-shaped patch of black shiny tarmac. Just like Dorothy's house in Kansas, a tornado had removed it in its entirety, including heaped plates of macaroni cheese. There was absolutely nothing left.
Starving, we headed for Dornoch. Dornoch was having a bad hair day. 'Cafe Closed On Mondays'. We headed for the beautiful beach, only to be met by a red tin sign: 'Road Closed'.
They had even arranged for a remote controlled wasp to terrorise us as we tried to eat our ice creams, and squads of electronic seagulls were monitoring us when we finally got to the beach, reporting back to HQ. 'Sassenachs heading back South now', they affirmed.
So that's just what we did.