Monday, January 02, 2012


A greyish, gremlin's face peers at me in the mirror (accidentally typed as 'morror', a cross between mirror and horror, most appropriate). Yes readers, it is mine. It got up at 6, roused Offsprog Two, loaded her into the car minus her packed lunch and drove her around the labyrinthine streets of Victoria at dawn, finally decanting her on to a double yellow line at Victoria Coach Station with a pinch of swearing and a sniff of thanks.
The car has leaked during the holiday period and smells pungently of Wet Mat, in spite of/because of being blasted by the car heater at every possible opportunity. The removable mats have been removed and placed in the washing machine but have now evolved into exotic flat black artworks, bent and twisted in a joy of expressionistic pain, and unfittable back in place. Anyway, the crumpled car park receipts, used tissues and blue water bottle tops on the floor of the car make replacing them and impossible task. A serious valet job is on the cards but I'm too out of pocket at the moment. If only I could trade surplus Christmas chocolates for the necessary labour!
Me and WetMatCar went visiting at breakfast time and my very kindly South London Friend made strong coffee that we drank in the kitchen. Even their dog wasn't up yet; it shambled in an hour later half-heartedly asking for a pat before it went back to bed.
Back home, the marking pile is dwindling (48 done, three to go plus a half-day of listening to recorded songs); the house is empty once again. The Christmas tree will be decommissioned tomorrow (alas!) and the battle to get the local council to collect it will commence. Toothbrushes have multiplied in the bathroom (how come two daughters produce five toothbrushes?), precious essences have disappeared; the fridge is empty once more and their room is strewn with plastic bags and wrapping paper (plus half a bottle of rum that didn't feed the New Year's vomitorium at an unfortunate friend's house in Kentish Town).
The gremlin ponders Christmas. Easier than last year in some ways (no shouting), harder in others (car problems and health problems too).
All in all, Not Too Bad.

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